The Amish Road to Naughty

Horse-drawn carriages, picturesque Pennsylvania Dutch barns, scenic rolling farmland, and the ascetic way of life of the Amish… Lancaster County is one of the Keystone State’s jewels, drawing visitors from far and wide. But if you plan a trip to this bucolic part of the world, be forewarned that you may get lost on the back roads and find yourself full of questions. Well, we’re happy to offer a bit of advice you would be wise to heed.

Is it true you must go through Intercourse to get to Paradise? Yes indeed. If you’re coming from Bareville, the aforementioned hamlets are only 4 miles apart – so you’ll want to go slowly and enjoy every inch of this enticing ramble.

Should you choose to steer clear of Intercourse, head toward the city of Lancaster by taking US Hwy 30-W to Paradise, being careful not to veer too far north or west lest you land in Bird in Hand or Blue Ball. Or worse, find yourself in Fertility. Oops!

2 Responses to The Amish Road to Naughty

  • Erik Kowal says:

    One can only imagine the conversations of travellers driving around in the area:

    “We’re well on the way toward Intercourse.”

    “I’m looking for the road to Paradise”.

    “We’re only about five minutes from Fertility”.

    “What’s the best way from Bareville to Mount Airy?”

    “Blue Ball? Yeah, I was there once”.

    • Fred says:

      Erik, your hypothetical remarks are cleverly conceived (so to speak). I decided against working Blue Ball into the text because I thought the last word was plural, and therefore might be a bit much — but as you’ll see in the last line of the text, I’ve now done so because it fits well with Bird in Hand (wink, wink…)

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